Snooty and Goon: Black Mass

It's all there! Black and white, clear as crystal! You STOLE Fizzy-Lifting Drinks! You BUMPED into the ceiling, which now has to be washed and sterilized, so you get... NOTHING!!! You lose! GOOD DAY, SIR!

“It’s all there! Black and white, clear as crystal! You STOLE Fizzy-Lifting Drinks! You BUMPED into the ceiling, which now has to be washed and sterilized, so you get… NOTHING!!! You lose! GOOD DAY, SIR!”

History comes to life in the form of lawbreakers, federal agents, and lawbreaking federal agents sitting around talking about crime between horrifically brutal murders. Nobody’s going to put a gun to your head, but I think it would be criminal to miss this episode of Snooty and Goon!

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Johnny Depp by Amy Anne

Trailer Talk

The Jungle Book


In the Heart of the Sea


Cutest best man ever: Goon Reviews Castle “For Better or Worse”

Kick him in the crotch and run!

Kick him in the crotch and run!

Seriously, f’ing seriously!  We have been waiting six freaking years and you end it with that?  I am very disappointed in you Castle writers, very disappointed.

Okay, lets save this rant for later on and deal with the plot.

We open with 72 hours remaining before Castle and Beckett get hitched, we are treated with an amusing opening scene of Castle, Martha, and Alexis tackling pre-wedding problems before they become problems, which is a truly great scene to watch.  Team Castle is a well oiled machine and they are able to take care of  any problem that may come their way.  Except for one.  As Castle and Beckett are off to get their marriage license we learn that Beckett is already married. (cue dramatic music here)  As it turns out, Beckett had a Vegas wedding back in college, and not thinking it was a real deal, put it out of her mind.  Refusing to let this little bombshell get in the way of their happy ending, Beckett goes off to track down her husband and dissolve the marriage while Castle stays behind to make sure the wedding stays on track.  In true television fashion, this does not go as easy as the simple signing of a piece of paper.   It starts out simple enough, Beckett’s ex, one Rogan O’Leary (played by the ever so great Eddie Mclintock) needs her to break into his girlfriend’s car and swipe the garage door opener and won’t sign the papers until she does.  Beckett pulls it off without a hitch but before the papers can be signed, Rogan gets snatched and taken away.  Castle hurries to her side, leaving the handling of the wedding in the capable hands of Martha and Alexis.  We then treated to usual CoW tactics.  With a little help from Tori, our favorite NYPD tech wiz,  Castle and Beckett get to work, which leads them to a stripper, (with the most fake looking one dollar bills stuffed in her bra that I have ever seen) a black mailed priest who partook of the stripper’s services, and a biker gang who Rogan owes money to.  In the end they are able to track Rogan down to the home of the stripper’s boyfriend, where they find him tied up in the barn.  Before they can make their escape it is learned that the farm is owned by none other than a wanted mafia hitman who has been on the run.  As it turns out, Rogan had pictures of the hitman and unless they were handed over, they would all be killed.  In a clever move, Castle and Beckett lead the mobster and his two goons (no relation) to Rogan’s apartment, where the biker gang is waiting.  Through some quick dealings, they convince the bikers to take the mobster and turn him in for the reward.  With the papers signed, and Castle helping Rogan patch things up with his girlfriend, Beckett and Castle are off to get married.  What should have been a happy ending, with Castle and Beckett finally getting married, was a sad one as Castle doesn’t show up to the wedding and his car is found burning on the side of the road.

Honestly, despite the ending, this was a really fun season finale.  compared to a lot of Castle finales in the past,  this one was rather light and upbeat.  Instead of a crime to solve it was wedding to save.  While there were some definite cliches to the episode, none of them really detracted from it, quite the opposite, they made the episode fun.  Going into the season, when  Beckett said yes, we all knew that their wedding wouldn’t go off without a hitch, but I was glad that they took a light hearted approach to it.  The entire story of Beckett trying to get the papers signed was played for fun, Castle throwing jokes about the whole thing left and right only just made it all the better.  The best part was Beckett’s freak out about the wedding.  With everything that happened, its only normal that panic would seize hold of one of them, at least for a bit.  But, completely unphased by this, Castle calms her down.  Again,  a bit cliched, especially when Castle pulls out the fairy tale metaphor, but it was sweet, and amazing to see Castle keep such a cool head throughout it all.  He and Beckett have been through a lot, and he knows this, what they’re dealing with now is just a minor bump in the road, one that they can easily overcome.  And they do.  And it was pretty awesome.

While Castle and Beckett are running the divorce gauntlet, our lovable cast of supporting characters were working hard to make sure the wedding goes off without a hitch.  Some problems they deal along the way include:
A too small tux for Ryan
The loss of the venue do to first time fire breathers (did not see that one coming)
A ruined wedding dress

Again, nothing overly original, apart form that fire breather thing, but everything worked.  These scenes worked to break up what little tension was building throughout the story, and gave us some honest laughs and cringe worthy moments.  Everything about it really made you care about what has happening to the characters.  The ruined dress had me distraught, and I found myself desperate to find out what how that obstacle would be overcome.  The loss of the venue, in such a ridiculous way,  and the too small tux had me laughing, knowing that while these were pretty big problems, they would be solved in fantastic ways.  That is what made the heavy use of cliches work, because we care about these characters and we know that nothing ever runs smoothly, but we also know that nothing can stop them.  After Beckett’s solving of her mother’s murder, we know for certain that there is nothing that can stand in their way, that working together, Castle, Beckett, and all the others can accomplish anything.

Which now brings us to the end.  After everything they went through, the wedding was finally there.  The divorce was filed, the guests had arrived, Beckett was looking drop dead gorgeous in her mother’s wedding dress, nothing was standing in the way.  Except a mysterious black SUV.  As Castle is on his way to the wedding, he is tailed by an unknown SUV, when he tries to get away, it pulls up next to him.  We cut to Beckett and the others wondering where he is, and Beckett getting a call.  Our closing shot of the season being Beckett breaking down as she see’s his car lying burning in a ditch.

This left me torn.  As a fan of Castle, and a hardcore supporter of the Castle/Beckett paring since day one, there is not enough words to describe how upset this scene made me.  We have watched them overcome countless obstacles in their relationship, go through so many things to make it work, and finally we were getting the pay off, we were going to watch them get married, only for the rug to get pulled out from under us.  I wanted the see the wedding, I wanted that happy ending we have been waiting six freaking years for it!  What do we get instead?  A burning car and a crying Beckett.  It felt like a slap in the face.  And if there is one thing the Goon doesn’t like, its being slapped in the face.  Seriously, it’s not fun.

However, on the other hand, I am also a reviewer, so I do have to appreciate the ending for it was.  A damn good season closer.  There are three purposes to a season finale:
1) Wrap up story
2) Introduce a new story
3) Get us psyched for the next season
A finale must meet one or all of these for it to be good, and Castle did.  We got wrap up of a major story, the murder of Beckett’s mom (granted that was last week, but still, it counts) and I can’t say the same for you, but I know that I am so pumped for season seven.  I can’t wait to find out what happened to Castle, and who was behind the attack.  Current theory is that it was the mafia that the hitman was part of seeking revenge.  Most of all, I can’t wait to finally see Castle and Beckett get married.

Despite the last few minutes, this was a great finale, plain and simple.  It was a lot of fun, all the characters had a role to play, even Tori, who is a tertiary character at best, (and is still one I want to see more of.  Here’s hoping she is a more regular cast member in the next season) and the upbeat nature throughout most of the episode was a solid balance to last week’s drama heavy episode.  The two work together and balance each other out, creating what I consider to be an amazing two part finale.  I am ever so eager to find out what happens next season.

Goon out.