Lies, lies, everywhere, and not a truth in sight: Goon Reviews OUaT “Unforgiven”

Good job Ursula, the badass pose is coming along quite well

Good job Ursula, the badass pose is coming along quite well






Are the writers even trying anymore?  Seriously, do they not keep track of their own continuity?  I’m guessing no.  Not at all.

Sorry this is coming a bit late, in my defense, I did just get Pokemon Omega Ruby, and Pokemon is awesome.  But that is neither here nor there, lets breeze through this mess of a plot and get to it.

Forest time, Snow and David return from their honeymoon (where if you remember correctly, they killed Medusa *groan*) only to find the Wicked Sisters there, who then tell them about Regina’s plans to unleash the Dark Curse* and do all that horrible stuff that Regina did when she was all Dark Side.  The three tell Snow and David of a magic Wisdom Tree that can answer their questions  about Regina’s curse and how to stop it.  Apparently it requires the two most valorous heroes to get answers from the tree, apparently its a jerk like that.  They make it to the tree, after a few twists and turns along the way, the make it to the tree.  They discover that the tree won’t answer their questions because Snow is pregnant, and apparently her child (Emma) has the potential for great good, or great evil, because of reasons so moronic that they will give me a rage aneurysm if I recount them.  You should have seen the episode, you know the whole stupid thing.  The Unholy Trinity leave Snow and Charming to whatever horrible fate will befall them, only for Maleficent to pay Snow a visit later in the night, revealing to her that they need to work together because she too is pregnant and wants to save her baby.  Snow says no, refusing to work with anyone who falls on the evil side of the alignment spectrum.

Modern time, Snow and David are suspicious of Cruella and Ursula, afraid they will reveal their frankly, way less than horrible secret.  David gets Emma to help him follow the Gruesome Twosome around town.  The two swipe a box from Gold’s old shop, David finding a trinket of Maleficent’s inside it.  David swipes the doodad and he and Snow figure that the two are trying to resurrect the fallen member of their trio*.  The two decide to gather up Maleficent’s ashes and dispose of them, preventing her return, only to fall into a trap.  As it turns out, everything was a trick to get Snow and David down to the gave, their blood needed to resurrect Maleficent.  It works, she comes back, has a corny villainous monologue, and the three depart and Snow and David decide to tell Emma the horrible secret that isn’t really horrible, at all, not in the slightest. At the same time, Emma is left wondering what the hell is going on as Hook is hiding his history with Ursula from her, and she suspects her parents motives, thinking they are keeping something from her.  In the end, she decides to let Hook of the, well, hook, and decides to let him wait to tell her about his time with Ursula when he’s ready, and at the same time putting her fears about her parents to rest.  Snow and David arrive, and in the most moronic move of the episode, wuss out on telling Emma the truth, and tell her that Maleficent is back and the villains are being villainous.  Regina was also digging into the book, hoping that Pinocchio would be able to remember his time as August and be able to tell them about the book, he can’t.  Regina flips out, Geppetto tells her off, later she apologizes, and he gives her August’s old saddle bags, hoping they will help her.  We close out with Snow telling the

Apparently she hates the writing too.

Apparently she hates the writing too.

horrible secret (again, not all that horrible) to Regina, asking her play double agent for them, and Gold stalking Belle, seeing her have a kissy kissy moment with Will Scarlet.

This episode was stupid.  Plain and simple.  The only good part was Regina’s continued investigation into who the author is, and her freak out and subsequent apology.  It shows that Regina still has work to do on getting her happy ending, but also showing just how far she has come in her redemption, and character development overall.  It was nice, but sadly far too short, and will probably be a distant memory of good times when she starts pretending to be evil.  I could easily see the hacks the show has for writers using this to make Regina go evil, again.  But, at the same time I must admit that I do think they could spin this to play her up as a bigger evil.  With the whole Emma going evil thing, it would be a good way play up Regina in the hero role, which could be fun to watch.

So, bet you are probably wondering about the * you saw up in the plot summaries.  Those are marking points in the plot where the writers have ignored their own established continuity, again.  In the pilot, we saw that it was Rumpelstiltskin who told Snow and David about the curse, not the Ghastly Gals, and they have stated several times that magic can’t bring back the dead, granted they have broken this rule before, so why not again! Its not like this story has to make sense or anything!  RAAAAAAGE!!!!!!



Emma, was around this episode.  She did some stuff, I’m sure.  Bet she ate the hell out of that grilled cheese sandwich.

As I stated before, last weeks build up to Snow and David’s big secret was just a waste.  Their big secret, that Emma could go evil and Maleficent lost

Henry is obviously having problems with script as well.

Henry is obviously having problems with script as well.

her baby because of them?  Total BS.  Snow was well within her rights to refuse to help one of the most evil people in their land, even if she did have a bun in the oven.  If anything, its Rumpelstiltskin’s fault as the entire thing with the Dark Curse was just his long con to reunite with Neal.  Hell, Regina would be a more valid target of rage, she cast the damn thing.  Also, Emma could be greatly evil because she was the product of true love.  Da fuck is up with that?  Yes, I am aware that everyone is capable of both great good and great evil, Emma being no exception to that, but the only problem here is that she is a good person.  She had a rough history sure, and that left its scars and wounds that she is beginning to heal from, but just being told that she could become evil isn’t enough to turn you evil, that is bullshit.  Unless she actively chooses to start doing evil stuff, which at this point would be totally out of character for her, that is not something you need to worry about.  You know what could fuck everything up?  Keeping secrets from your daughter, who is just getting over her trust issues.  But no, keep the secret, I have no doubt this will end well for everyone.  Totally.

Overall, the writers can write the characters well, for the most part they are just as amusing and fun to watch as ever, but the story seems to be going to hell, and is driving there in the express lane no less.  If the writers can’t even keep their own story straight, how the hell do they expect me to care?
This episode was a mess from start to finish, and honestly, its looking like this will be the continuing trend for the back half of season 4.


Gonna be long 9 weeks.

Goon out.


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