Snooty and Goon: Persecuted

"SYMBOLISM!"

“SYMBOLISM!”

Snooty and Goon investigate America’s most persecuted group: wealthy white conservative Christians. Those poor people…

Click here to oppose the Equal Faiths Act!


Trailer Talk

The Guest

Step Up: All In

Atlas Shrugged, Part III

The Identical

Snooty and Goon: Dawn of the Planet of the Apes

"Good...bad...I'm the one with the gun."

“Good…bad…I’m the one with the gun.”

Snooty and Goon channel their wild side to face the end of the human race. Will the apes do better than humanity? Meh. They can’t do any worse.

Click here for an audio vaccine to the Simian Flu!

I09′s insightful review that Snooty absolutely didn’t steal any ideas from

Trailer Talk

Exodus: Gods and Kings

The Maze Runner

Sin City: A Dame to Kill For

Unbroken

Get On Up

Snooty and Goon: Independence Day

Here we see Jeff Goldblum waving goodbye to his movie career while Will Smith just sits there, watching.

Here we see Jeff Goldblum waving goodbye to his movie career.

Snooty and Goon step into their absolutely legitimately-procured WABAC to visit the smash summer blockbuster hit of 1996, the days when fighter pilots were elected president, crop dusters could legally fly with a .06 BAC, and MacBooks could not be stopped.

Click here to hear the fat lady sing!


Trailer Talk

Independence Day

Independence Day

Independence Day (Honest Trailer)

(Everything Wrong With) Independence Day

Snooty and Goon: Transformers: Age of Extinction

Look, it's Optimus Prime, and he's riding Unnamed Generic Robot Dinosaur Steed ($39.95, now in stores)!

Look, it’s Optimus Prime, and he’s riding Unnamed Generic Robot Dinosaur Steed ($39.95, now in stores)!

Orson Welles once described the Transformers franchise as being about “toys who do horrible things to each other.” Thirty years later, Michael Bay has reinvented the franchise to be about toys who do horrible things to their audience.

Click here before you buy a ticket and transform yourself into a remorseful moviegoer.

Trailer Talk

The Giver

Into the Storm

Dracula Untold

The Equalizer

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Dawn of the Planet of the Apes

Snooty and Goon: The Rover

+20 friendship

+20 friendship

Snooty and Goon strap in for a road trip across the bleak future of Australia. Not once do they make a single joke about boomerangs, beer, kangaroos, dingos, or quote that episode of the Simpsons. I think that means they’re maturing as critics…

Click here to hunt down your new episode in a smoldering, taciturn rage!


Trailer Talk

Kill the Messenger

America

Into the Storm

A Most Wanted Man

The Green Inferno

The Drop

Where can I get one of those Ponchos: Goon Reviews Defiance “The Opposite of Hallelujah”

Alright everyone, sexy poses for season 2.

Alright everyone, sexy poses for season 2.

 

Guess what?  That’s right! You’re favorite Goon is back!  At least I think I’m your favorite Goon, I hope I am…I’m your favorite Goon right?

You know what, doesn’t matter, all that matters is that I am back, to once again tell you what you should have thought.  And what better way to kick off my triumphant return to the blog than the season premier of the best Science Fiction show on television, Defiance.

We return to favorite future town nine months after we left them.  The Earth Republic (E-Rep) has rolled in and taken over the town and things have changed, for the “better.”  Amanda has taken control of the Need/Want, thinking that Kenya has just left town (and not dead by poison) and she is keeping the place running until her little sister returns.  Datak has been locked in prison for the murder of the E-Rep colonel, leaving Alak to take control of the family business, but his lack of being totally evil is apparently making it hard for him to establish control.  Rafe McCawley, despite helping Nolan bust out Irisa, has been allowed to keep his home but is now working in the mines instead of running them.  As for Nolan, he is traveling the world, hunting members of the cult that tortured Irisa as a child and trying to find his wayward daughter.

Things in Defiance are tense, the E-Rep mayor, Niles Pottinger, makes the usual PR speeches about how things are so much better in Defiance now that the E-Rep has taken over, and how the people are more prosperous and happy. (lies, slander and lies!)  This is of course a load of total BS, working conditions are bad and anyone who speaks out against the E-Rep is shipped off to prison or set up to be a hellbug’s afternoon snack.  In order to  try and keep some sense of peace and balance in the town, Amanda takes on an adviser position, thinking she can help, but obviously is having trouble dealing with her own problems and has taken to drugs of some sort to escape them.

Alak is having a hard time taking control of his father’s various business, he actually has a kind heart and isn’t cut out to for it, so his mother Stahma has taking over, leaving Alak to act as her puppet, using him to voice her orders (mother of the year right there).

In prison, we see that Datak is having a rough time, and is joined by none other than Doctor Yewll, who says she has a plan to get them both out.  And that is pretty much all we get from them.

After clocking some serious miles across this great country of ours, Nolan finds himself in Los Angles, now called Angel’s Arch, hot on the trail of his daughter.  Before he can make much progress on that front, he runs into an old “friend” of his, one Varus Soleptor.  Varus is mentioned a few times in season one as a man Nolan is indebted to and has put a bounty out on him.  He is also an NPC in the Defiance video game, making appearances in cut scenes and as a quest giver.  Irisa shows up and saves Nolan from an untimely fate and the two have a rather touching reunion.  Nolan presses Irisa for information, desperate to know what happened to his daughter while she was missing, but she evades the questions, lies about it, and tries to walk away.  They are able to patch things up and Nolan suggests that they go with their original plan, to head south to Antarctica and start anew.  Irisa refuses, saying that they must return to Defiance.  All the while she is seeing the little girl from the season one finale, the one who said that Irisa is to become the Destroyer.  Which apparently she does, we see her kill a Castithan woman and has a vision/dream/hallucination of slitting Nolan’s throat as they were driving back to Defiance, something which absolutely horrifies her, showing us that she isn’t to far down the Destroyer path just yet.

All in all, this episode primarily acted as set up for the new season a lot happened, with out much really happening, if that makes any sense.  The basis of the plot was laid down, we learned what is happening with the characters, and got a brief idea of what to expect this season: despair, tension, violence, and revolution.  All the actors were in top form and played their roles well.  I give special props to Jesse Rath (Alak) who played the conflicted character very well, showing how he wants to live up to his father, but can’t because he is still a good man at heart.  He is placed into an interesting position this season, thinking he is in control only to be overshadowed by his mother.  I am expected a lot of drama to come from that and I am hoping that we can see Alak become a more prominent character this season.

Overall, nothing major happened, but it was a solid open to the sophomore season of the show.  There is a great story brewing and I get the feeling that this season will be chocked full of action, drama, humor, and everything else that made season one of Defiance so amazing.  I will admit that I am most looking forward to the outcome of the contest that the video game ran, where the player with the highest score in a number of events would have his or her character brought into the show.

The merger of video game and television show makes Defiance something new and unique, and I am happy to see that it is still going strong.  Here’s hoping it can keep that up through season two

Goon out.

Snooty and Goon: How To Train Your Dragon 2

"We will rule over this land, and we will call it...This Land." "I think we should call it your father's grave!" "Ah, curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal."

“We will rule over this land, and we will call it…This Land.”
“I think we should call it your father’s grave!”
“Ah, curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal.”

Saddle up and take to the skies as Snooty and Goon ride herd on Dreamworks’ latest sequel. Does it measure up to the original? Yes. Yes, it does.

Click here for all the latest dragon-training tips!

 

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Penguins of Madagascar

The Box Trolls

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